All I Ever Wanted
by JL01
Summary: The long, bitter years of anguish and thirst for revenge against the Jedi had all but ended now for Tavion, who was poised to claim what was rightfully hers. But of course, Jaden had to interrupt her plans at the last moment, with completely unexpected outcomes...


**All I Ever Wanted**

 _So pathetically weak…Was I mistaken in taking you as my apprentice?_

 _Is this the true extent of your power? Perhaps I ought to replace you?_

 _How many times must you fail me?_

 _Shall I kill you, just as I killed that weakling fellow pupil of mine?_

Rage. Hatred. Resentment – those were the only things Tavion Axmis lived on now, after all that she had been through. Her defeat at the hands of Kyle Katarn still ate away at her, like termites gnawing away at a structure that once stood tall and proud, now reduced to nothing more than a shambling wreck.

Those harsh words of her former master were forever etched in the deepest parts of her mind, taunting her and yet fuelling her desire to go on. Desann was now nothing more than a dead fool, an imbecile who allowed his ego to get the best of him, ultimately leading to his death.

 _A failed, second-rate former Jedi as a master. No wonder I was bested by Katarn,_ Tavion thought, a scowl etched across her face as she continued to channel all the Force energy accumulated in the cepter to imbue the statue of Ragnos, which seemed to stare down at her in a condescending manner. Her brash, short-sighted master had only sought to advance himself with the single-mindedness of a dog, woefully ignorant of his half-finished training and sloppy technique. He sought to put himself at the top of the galaxy, when he had neither the skills or the brains to do it.

Tavion, on the other hand, was different. She still vividly recalled being throttled by Katarn, held over a ledge like a helpless kitten at the mercy of a tiger. Fully aware of the fact that she could not best Kyle, or Luke for that matter, in single combat, she therefore sought to realize the power of Marka Ragnos himself, bring him back to carry out the work that she could not.

She was so close now…so close to gaining what she wanted. Just a few more moments, and then—

 _It's him…the little whelp. No matter._

"Ah, Kyle's _good_ student," she remarked, putting a pause to the scepter's powers as she turned around and put her hand on her hip, giving a sultry grin towards the Jedi Knight who entered the hall. "How you've grown. I still remember you from Vjun, running and following after Kyle like his pet dog on a leash, and look at you now. You've finally come into your own, haven't you?"

"Enough games, Tavion. This stops here," said Jaden as he walked across the stone floors, emitting an air of confidence all the while struggling on with all the strength left in him. The gruelling, non-stop battles he faced since landing on Taspir III barely hours ago had taken their toll. His medium-length, golden hair was drenched with sweat which still streamed down his brow, and his face and clothes covered with sand and the ashes emitted from the bodies of his enemies meeting his lightsaber.

Tavion couldn't help but crack her smile even wider. Clearly, the man standing before her was all too different from the feeble-minded merchant on Commenor who fell hook, line and sinker the moment she put on that persuasive voice of hers, only to have his life ended before he knew it. "Hah. Not even the slightest attempt to plead for avoiding a fight. What a gentleman you are, to be so eager to kill a lady."

Jaden merely shook his head, stopping just a few meters away from her. "I'm not here to kill you. I'm here to ask you to end this madness. Right now."

"End? No. This is only the beginning, my dear," Tavion clicked her tongue, as if she was scolding an untamed dog. "You're too late to stop us, I'm afraid. Soon, Lord Ragnos will arise once more, and the pitiful Republic will tremble at his feet! The Golden Age of the Sith will return!"

The Jedi Knight's eyes narrowed, his voice almost hushed to a whisper. "And what about you? What'll become of _you_ , Tavion?"

"What does that matter to you, fool?" she hissed, lightsaber at the ready. "You will either serve us or die!"

"You should know the history of the Sith like the back of your hand," he replied, his tone almost lecture-like as he crossed his arms. "How they manipulate and use one another, only to discard the other in the end. Is that what you want?"

Tavion glared at him, incensed at his insolence. "What?"

"If Ragnos reclaims his power, what then? Do you honestly think that he'll treat you like some kind of royalty? You'll be nothing but a disposable minion to him, just like how Desann treated his Reborn and the Remnant under his control. That's how the dark side has always been, Tavion. Betrayal and murder. Nothing more. But there's another way if you'll take it. Kyle told me what happened between you. We can offer you—"

"Shut up! Shut. The. Fuck. Up!" Tavion screamed, her composure broken as she glared at him furiously. "What, you're going to offer me a quick death, are you? Did Kyle prolong Desann's humiliation and death? Is that what he wants you to do to _me_?"

"No," Jaden said more firmly. "That's not at all what happened. Kyle even offered Desann a chance to rejoin the Jedi, after all he did. Desann refused and gave in to his hate, and that's why he paid the ultimate price. But you? I can see the truth in your eyes and hear it in your voice, Tavion, just as Kyle once did himself. You don't want this. You want to be _free_. We can help you."

Remarkably, the fury in Tavion's eyes settled down ever so slightly, the color returning to her knuckles which were white with rage. She held her gaze with him, and deep down Jaden could feel a tinge of light struggling against a sea of darkness, like a spark clawing and heaving itself closer and closer to the shore, fighting against the waves that roared in anger as they threatened to haul it away again. Tavion's lips parted, and out escaped an audible sigh of what seemed to be regret.

She blinked slowly, then raised the sceptre in her left hand. Dark energy suddenly pulsed and coursed through it. Ragnos was pleased with her offering. "It's too late. _You're_ too late. Now you'll be buried in here." She activated her lightsaber, its crimson blade yearning for blood.

Jaden took a deep breath, taking up both his lightsabers in either hand. "We'll see about that."

Tavion smirked, finding it foolish of Jaden to assume a Jar'kai stance when she practically knew it inside and out while teaching her pupil Alora. The blue lightsaber he activated first was noticeably different from that which he held on Vjun, but as for the second…

The second…

A crimson blade. The hilt, so familiar. Belonging to…

 _No…_

"A-Alora?" Tavion gasped, her eyes wide with disbelief.

Jaden somberly responded. "I had no choice."

It did not take long for shock to turn to anger, then to pure hatred. She narrowed her eyes and pointed her lightsaber at Jaden, poising herself for the kill. "Then she was a most pathetic apprentice indeed, to die at the hands of a weakling like you."

With that, Tavion pressed the attack. Tapping into her hatred, she lunged forward, using the Force to leap towards him at speed. She surged forth with a deadly stabbing motion, Jaden taken aback by her unexpectedly direct and aggressive motions. Kyle's description of Tavion's fighting techniques was evidently outdated by two years, her attacks hardly reminiscent of her old feints and deceptions.

Fatigue slowly getting the best of him and desperately trying to regain the offensive after a furious assault by Tavion, Jaden made a wide slashing motion with his right hand, followed by a quick stab with his left. Unable to parry his second attack, Tavion had no choice but to dart backwards, retaliating with a familiar, terrifying response. Thick, yellow beams of energy emanated from the staff in her hand, causing Jaden to wince and shake his head in dismay. Blast after blast of concentrated energy then followed, leaving Jaden only with the option of dodging around the room, taking cover behind statues which soon turned to dust.

It was now or never. With no other place to hide, Jaden took a deep breath and backed himself up against the last statue column as Tavion approached slowly from the steps of Ragnos's throne, taking glee in his impending demise. Jaden closed his eyes, recalling the words of wisdom Kyle left him after telling him the story of how Desann was beaten.

 _With great power can sometimes come gross overconfidence. Keep your wits about you and look for an opening. Trust me on that._

"And now it's come to this," Tavion sighed. "Things could've gone differently. You could have joined me, shared in the power. But it's too late for you now. The only thing left for you is death. Goodbye."

Hearing the brimming hum of the sceptre, Jaden braced himself for one final act. He stretched both of his arms out, fingertips fully extended as he sent a monstrous arch of Force Lightning at Tavion, throwing her completely off balance as the unexpected attack lurched towards her. The trademark power of the dark side, so frowned upon by the rest of the New Jedi Order, was reluctantly taught to him by Kyle after their mission to Vjun, where Jaden found himself almost overwhelmed by the sheer number of Reborn who attacked him in numbers. The ordeal, which he barely made through, was enough to teach him that lightsaber combat alone simply wouldn't suffice in the long run.

Not wanting to risk causing harm to come to the millennia-old sceptre, Tavion held forth her lightsaber, struggling to hold back the tide as she stumbled and fell upon her back. Sensing his chance, Jaden abruptly cut off his Lightning attack and used the Force to leap over the statue, sending his ignited lightsabers spinning towards Tavion's sceptre arm and waist while he himself began to descend upon Tavion like a hawk snatching its prey. Faced with no choice, Tavion was forced to throw aside the heavy, long and cumbersome sceptre, in order to avoid both harm coming to it, and being thrown off-balance herself.

Desperately, she struck at Jaden's blue lightsaber which was aimed at her body, but at a terrible price: the impact caused her arm to recoil, rendering her completely unable to respond in time as Jaden landed on her, punching her heavily in the stomach. She coughed in excruciating pain, her lightsaber flying out of her hand and rolling down the steps of the throne.

She was finished.

A full minute passed, during which Tavion recovered physically, but was broken on the inside. Everything was lost, and now all that awaited her was oblivion. Jaden still loomed over her, trapping Tavion's torso between his knees as his blue eyes looked intensely into her soul.

"It's over," she whimpered and wept, a tear falling from her eyelid and down her left cheek. "I have nothing left to live for. Desann was right – I'm pathetic, useless and weak. I don't want to live anymore. Kill me. _Please_."

Jaden sighed, his shoulders dropping as he relaxed his body, sensing the sincerity behind Tavion's request. He shifted himself to Tavion's right side and placed his hand on Tavion's back, beginning to help her up. He noticed a shudder ripple up and down her spine, so surprised was she that he treated her in such a way after what she had done.

"Don't give up," he whispered. "Kyle was right about you. You're—"

" _Pathetic. Useless. Weak. Only one fate awaits those who are just that."_ A booming, nerve-chilling voice rang throughout the entire hall as all the braziers went out at once, leaving the two of them in near-total darkness. Mystical winds began to rage around them like a storm as Jaden quickly recalled his lightsabers into his hands, not letting go of Tavion who whimpered and trembled in his hold.

"Who's there? Show yourself!" Jaden yelled, trying his best to suppress his fear.

" _A mere Jedi child dares order_ me _to reveal myself? Your insolence will be repaid with_ blood _."_ A horrifying, ghostly white and ethereal figure began to materialise, arising from the mighty throne. The blood-red pigment of his skin accentuated his snarling face, his horns embellished with gold plating which matched the metal plates which were draped on his shoulders. A great medallion of gold hung around his neck, a symbol of his past power and prestige. Unlike the Force ghosts of Jedi, his figure seemed to be constantly crumbling and yet regenerating itself as fast as it deteriorated, a sign of the corrupt nature and perverse nature of the Sith order's perception of 'immortality'.

"Marka Ragnos!" Tavion gasped, shuddering enough that her fear was immediately passed on to Jaden, who began to back away and descend the steps with her, cautious to never let Ragnos out of his sight.

" _Pathetic imbeciles, fleeing like rats and whimpering in fear at the hands of Jedi?"_ Ragnos scolded Tavion, his burning eyes piercing her like daggers. _"Such incompetence must be punished by death. Your life is now forfeit!"_

"You think you can just treat people like your tool?" Jaden rebuked. "You think that you have the right to slaughter countless innocents just to prove your power? Over my dead body, you will."

Ragnos's eyes narrowed. _"That…can be arranged."_

Without warning, Ragnos charged, his ghostly figure bolstered by the energy transferred from his sceptre blazing straight towards Tavion while emitting an ear-piercing screech. Bravely, Jaden stepped in front of a cowering Tavion, blasting Ragnos's ghost with torrents of lightning. Sadly, he felt that all he could do was delay the inevitable, as Ragnos crept closer and closer, with Jaden's diminished strength not enough to completely keep him at bay.

Irritated with Jaden's stubborn protection of Tavion, Ragnos instead looked to his left, making for his prized sceptre. Unwilling to give him the chance, Jaden used the Force to pull the object away, sending it flying behind him, a few feet away from Tavion's grasp.

Tavion stared in horror at just what she released on the galaxy. Her dreams, her fantasies of having all of her heart's desires granted to her by a gracious and grateful Ragnos were shattered in an instant, as she stared at the raging, vengeful monster that openly stated that he wished to end her life for her failure. She panted and gasped, fearing for her future. Whether or not Ragnos was stopped, one thing was certain for her: death. At the hands of Ragnos or that of the New Republic and the Jedi, it didn't matter anymore.

"Destroy it!" Jaden bellowed, wrangling Tavion out of her thoughts. The Dark Jedi stared in confusion at the sceptre, her hand trembling as it clung onto her lightsaber. She managed to crawl towards the object that she once saw as her means of salvation, peering down at it as her heart raced and pounded like a storm.

"Do it! Do it now!" Jaden cried out, his voice growing hoarse and weak. His attack was dwindling, the tendrils of lighting growing weaker and thinner as Ragnos visibly made progress towards overwhelming him. "Tavion…please…you can do it…Free yourself…save us both…" More time passed, and still nothing changed. Utterly spent, he collapsed onto his hands and knees, the last of his strength gone. A few final sparks departed his fingertips, after which he shot one last defiant glare at Ragnos, who grinned in victory. Darkness overtook him, and Jaden fell forward, his face landing against the cold stone floor.

Before he lost consciousness, weakly, almost inaudibly, he heard a howl.

A howl of anguish…

-o-

 **(Five months later…)**

"Another," a broken, melancholy woman dressed in black muttered, pushing her empty drink towards a Chiss bartender. The gruff man responded by giving her a tired look as he was in the process of wiping a pint glass. He curiously peered at the small crimson candle that was lit in front of his patron, although he didn't want to potentially push the wrong buttons by asking about it.

"Just how many is that tonight, lady? Any more and I can't guarantee that you'll even wake up tomorrow morning. And by the looks of things, you might wind up staying in this place one way or another." He peered left towards a depraved bunch of male patrons of various species who were grouped in the corner, taking turns ogling the figure of the woman.

She glared at him, hissing beneath her breath. "I _said_ …give me another."

The Chiss shrugged as he began to brew up another mixture of brown ale and an assortment of various off-world ingredients. "Your funeral."

Her demand met, the woman rested her chin against her weary hand, eyes wandering around the dim, violet-lit bar as the rain poured outside. She ignored the excited whispering of the male bar-goers nearby whose faces were plainly illuminated by neon lights, knowing that she could end them in a heartbeat if they ever threatened her.

Nar Shadaa. The eternal refuge for those seeking to escape their past, or run away from their present sins. As far as she was concerned, she counted for both. She still yearned for death, and thought a lingering, painful and miserable existence would serve as sufficient self-punishment for what she had done.

"Here's your drink," the bartender grunted as he placed the cocktail glass in front of her. "I swear, if this isn't enough, then I'm gonna have to—" He paused, his eyes fixed upon the dark-robed, hooded figure who entered through the run-down archway of the bar. "Son of a bitch…"

The man stopped at the bar stool beside Tavion, who didn't bother to turn around to look. His confident, deep voice addressed the bartender. "Evening, Lorn. Been a long time since I came here."

"The hell it _has_ been," the Chiss grumbled, unaware of the way Tavion's finger seemed to twitch at the very sound of the man's voice. "Last time you came here, I had to pay for repairs to my roof, after you sent those goddamn droids crashing down several hundred feet from that asshat Lannik Racto's factory."

"Aah, come on, let's let bygones be bygones," the man chuckled. "It's been a long day with another mission. I'm here for a drink."

Lorn winced at him. "Just tell me what you want and I'll _try_ not to spit in it…or worse."

The man laughed softly. "Okay, okay. I'll have a Vao on the Hawk." His order taken by the less-than-pleased Chiss, he sat down and pulled his hood back, slowly turning his head left as if he wanted to look on Tavion's face. She turned her head away, pretending to be so immersed in her melancholy state that she ignored him. Unluckily for her, he recognised her all too well. "T-Tavion?"

With no other choice, she turned back to face him, barely able to bring herself to meet his gaze. She sighed deeply. "What do you want, whelp? Come to gloat?"

Jaden stammered, unnerved by her restrained aggression. "N-no, it's not that, I…"

"Hah. You've come to get it over with, haven't you?" she smirked, peering down in sorrow. "Let's at least finish our drinks before we head outside, shall we?"

"Tavion, I—"

"It'll be simple. I won't even resist. Just…one tap of a button as I lean over the railing, and…" She couldn't go on. The tears just wouldn't stop.

Jaden shifted closer to her, laying a warm hand against her icy shoulder. "You know I'm not here to do that." He looked down, observing the red candle beneath Tavion which flickered with a light that grew dimmer, the wax almost fully expended.

He let her have a moment of silence to calm her nerves. Soon, Lorn returned with a wide cocktail glass in hand, with blue liquid contained within a thin sheet of ice the shape of one of history's most famous freighters. "Here, take it. _Please_ don't ask for another," he grumbled, then quickly noticed Jaden's hand lying upon Tavion's shoulder. He quietly shuffled away, speaking under his breath. "The balls on that guy…"

"So what are you here _for_?" Tavion asked after ensuring that the bartender was out of ear's reach. "Did Skywalker or Katarn somehow hear of my whereabouts?" She took another large gulp of her booze, trying her best to not give away signs of her already deep intoxication.

"Not at all," Jaden said, taking his hand off her shoulder and sipping his drink. Cool, refreshing and with a minuscule bite as it travelled down the throat, it most definitely helped soothe his nerves after a tense day's mission. "A local informant gave word to Kyle about a possible smuggling ring that was supplying arms to a group of Imperial Remnant sympathisers. All's done and dusted now, and I came here to pay a visit to, and receive a drink from my, uh… _friend_. I assure you, I had no idea that you were here."

"Hmph. Figures," she sighed, swirling her glass around and around. "Some idiots just don't know when to give up."

Seconds passed, and Jaden noted that Tavion's eyes once again wandered to the red candle below her eyes. "Are you…alright?"

"Do I _look_ alright to you?" she rolled her eyes, which were blaring red from a lack of proper sleep.

"I'm sorry if it hit a nerve. I just…I was just wondering, is all."

"You've hit _more_ than a nerve, you fool. Do you have any idea of what _hell_ I've been through for the past five months? Being hunted on every single planet I even set foot on, unable to escape and sit down for just one minute think about what has happened? Made to wander to this forsaken hellhole that people only ever go to in order to get _lost_ in? You wouldn't ever understand what you've forced upon me, Jaden."

"Tavion, it doesn't have to be that way. I can—"

"You already refused to give me the one thing that can finish this, to end this… _pain_!" she hissed. "I'm sick of this pathetic life of mine. Forced to live in the dankest, darkest parts of this planet. Having to endure the sound of gunshots every night outside a run-down apartment room. The constant stench of cracked floors drenched in rat-piss. Waking up in the morning disoriented, to find a rodent gnawing at your leg. Sleeping with your lightsaber at your side every night, and a part of you believing that you won't wake to see the next sunrise. _That_ is what you forced me into, and what I desperately want to escape. If only…" she hung her head in sadness. "If only I could end it all…but I can't. I'm not…brave enough to. I never was."

Just as she finished speaking, the last light of her candle went out, as did her hope in life. Broken, she lowered her head further and let loose her tears, curling her arms inwards and wrapping her face in her hands. Suddenly, she felt Jaden's hand firmly grasp hers, causing her to turn her trembling head to meet a pair of determined eyes.

"Lorn, what's our total tab?" Jaden turned and asked the Chiss, who was immediately displeased at the thought of having to speak to him further.

"One hundred and forty-seven credits," Lorn grunted as he came over and stood in front of Jaden.

Jaden looked at Tavion with eyes wide with shock. His expression did the speaking for him. _You drank that much by yourself?_

Tavion shrugged. _What are you going to do about it?_

"Alright," Jaden shrugged, swiping his credit chip over the data reader Lorn impatiently held out to him. "Thanks for the drinks."

"Whatever," the bartender grumbled as he began to walk away. "Get that bitch outta here already. Creeps me the fuck out…"

"Come on, let's get outta here," Jaden said, taking Tavion by the hand. She grabbed her dead candle and slipped it into her pocket before she turned and stumbled, requiring Jaden to support her up by the waist while she wrapped her right arm over and around his shoulder. She grimaced as she felt his hands against her bare torso, for she was still donning a highly exposed outfit that was very similar to those she used to wear while she led the Cult. Glancing sideways, she let out a small sigh of relief as she saw the group of lecherous men who continued to eye her as Jaden escorted her out. Given the state she was in, she was secretly glad that Jaden came by.

The cool night air enveloped them the moment they exited the venue, and Tavion took a deep breath in, glad to leave the fume-ridden place behind.

"By the way," Jaden said. "I never got to ask you what happened that day. After Ragnos emerged and I tried to fend him off. I lost consciousness, but I've had my guesses as to what happened."

Tavion smirked. "You should thank me. I plunged my lightsaber into the Scepter, and Ragnos's hopes of ever truly returning went with it as it shattered. Still, I fled the scene after that. What do you think they would've done with me after finding me standing over your unconscious self?"

Jaden nodded, knowing that things might have turned out for the worst for Tavion had she stood her ground. Kyle may have held back and tried to speak with her, but other Jedi who didn't know her could've acted very differently, and in numbers. "Then, on another note, about that candle. What is it for, exactly?"

Tavion sunk her head and exhaled. "It's Alora's birthday today. She would've turned eighteen."

Jaden's lips parted in shock. Alora was not too much younger than he was. To have killed someone so young and full of promise…

"I thought long and hard about what you said to me before our battle in the tomb," Tavion continued. "I came to realise that I had been on the wrong path the whole time. I wish it…didn't have to come so late. I didn't want to believe you when you said that you killed her, but then I found her body on Taspir. Cold as ice, despite the hot lava all around the platform. I took her to Ryloth and buried her there. She was…far too young…"

"And so are you," Jaden said firmly. "That's why I'm not gonna just abandon you to whatever may have followed had I not found you here. You're coming with me."

"Where are we going?"

"To the Academy. Yavin IV."

Tavion stopped dead in her tracks. One by one, small trickles of rain began to fall, until eventually came a downpour which washed away and hid her tears. "No. I can't. They'll just…kill me."

Jaden looked into her eyes. "What makes you think that?"

"All the things I've done, the countless lives ended because of me…I don't deserve forgiveness. I can still hear their screams…"

Jaden turned to face her, holding her by the shoulders. "You honestly believe that? Don't you know anything about Luke? Who his _father_ was? You really think that a guy like Luke can't learn to forgive you?"

Tavion bit her lower lip. There was no arguing against that.

"Tavion," Jaden said calmly. "You feel remorse. You understand and regret what you've done. That very fact alone means that you're not beyond redemption. That's why Kyle was right about you, and that's why I'm bringing you with me." He took off his robe and put it on her, shielding her from the torrential rain and biting cold. She wordlessly accepted as he continued to lead her to an elevator, descending several levels until they came to a hangar where his starfighter was kept. Jaden helped her into the passenger seat of the small, nimble craft, before initiating takeoff and setting course for the Jedi Academy on Yavin.

A minute later, after seeing the blaring blue lights of Hyperspace soaring past her, Tavion closed her eyes, sinking into a restful state she didn't think was ever possible again.

-o-

"…and then the reactor _exploded_ , its shockwaves sending me tumbling back until I was left dangling by my fingertips against the ledge!" Tavion said, curling her fingers up in front of her face for dramatic effect. A young girl, five years of age, looked at her with terrified eyes peering just over a warm blanket, shaking her head in disbelief.

"Then what happened, mommy?" the girl asked, her twinkling brown eyes and hazel hair illuminated by the moonlight shining through her bedroom window.

"Your father was there for me, of course, like always," Tavion smiled with a gaze so serene, accentuating the beauty of her chocolate-brown eyes as she stroked the child's silky-soft cheek. "The last of the Exchange goons ran in all directions, fleeing the scene. Republic agents caught them after a chase, and your father and I returned home, where Luke and Kyle thanked us for another job well done."

Her daughter beamed at her. It made Tavion so happy to see her smile. "You and daddy are so brave. I hope I can be just like you one day. Can I come with you tomorrow? Can you train me?"

"Sweetheart," Tavion grinned, leaning forward and squeezing her daughter's tiny hand. "You can become absolutely anything you like. Why make a decision right now?"

"It just sounds so…fun, mommy," she replied, a dreamy look on her face, reflecting the millions of heroic thoughts that were undoubtedly playing out in her head.

Tavion chuckled as she stood up, tucking her child in. "Oh come on, surely there's more fun things to do than being a Jedi."

"Mommy…how did you and daddy meet?" her daughter asked. "I never asked you before, did I?"

Tavion's smile faded, forcing her to scramble to keep at least a straight expression. A noticeable moment of silence followed before she could bring herself to smile timidly again. "Ah…that's a story for another night, I'm afraid. You must be tired – it's been a long day. Wish your brother a good night." She peered down at the bump of her abdomen, which her daughter happily reached forth for and rubbed gently.

"Goodnight…," she yawned, then looked up at her mother's face as she leaned back against her pillow. "Goodnight, mommy."

Tavion leaned inward and laid two soft kisses on her daughter's cheek and forehead before withdrawing. She walked quietly to the door, whispering before closing it behind her. "Goodnight, Alora."

As she heard the door click, Tavion sighed deeply and rested her forehead against the cold, wooden surface. She ran her fingers down her face, which was now a clear natural peach, her old tattoos completely removed as she left her past behind and came to embrace her new place amongst the Jedi. She rustled her fingers across her white silk nightrobe, holding her hand over her heart as she wished for the wild beating to slow.

Every time her daughter asked about her past, the same result would follow. Heart racing, beads of sweat forming across her brow, nails digging into her palms, heat building in her face until she thought she would catch on fire…

Then, a tender pair of arms embraced her from behind, soft hands lovingly rubbing her belly. "What's wrong?" said that ever-reassuring voice, causing her to close her eyes and lean back restfully.

"She asked again. My past. I…I just can't," she whispered, taking his hand and walking away from Alora's bedroom, out of earshot.

"Why not?" Jaden said as they entered their bedroom and sat next to each other on the bed. "She's five years old. Sure, she's young, but I think she's old enough to know now."

"To know that her own mother was a murderer? To know that she tried to aid in conquering and enslaving the entire galaxy not once, but twice?" Tavion replied, eyes glistening with self-loathing. "How can I ever say that? Even if I don't, she'll inevitably find out one way or another as she grows up. What will she think of me?"

Jaden shifted forward, tenderly cupping her face in his hands and wiping away her tears. "She'll think of you as a wonderful mother, and living proof that people can change for the better. Even Rosh forgave you, remember?" Tavion still didn't reply, save for giving him a despondent look, prompting him to continue. "Besides, you're not the only one who's had to face her own demons from her past. Look at Davin Felth and Juno Eclipse – both former Imperials, the latter of whom destroyed an entire planet. And that still doesn't compare to the horrible acts of the likes of—"

"Revan and Bastila, during her brief sway under Malak," Tavion sighed. "I don't know how many times I read of their accounts in the Academy's library, over and over again in order to give myself strength. But what have _I_ done to merit redemption? The number of good deeds I've done since joining the Jedi is pitiful compared to the atrocities I've committed. It's one thing for people like Luke or Kyle to forgive me, but another for my own daughter to know that I'm a former mass murderer, not the virtuous, saintlike Jedi Master and Academy tutor that I seem to be."

Jaden stared down, disheartened by the fact that his wife still loathed herself for her past crimes. A smile managed to creep on his face however when he saw the band worn on her right ring finger, a silver coil encrusted with fragments of none other than the blue kyber from Jaden's first lightsaber, retrieved from Bast Castle after a mission there together to sweep the planet of Remnant operatives.

He fondly remembered their wedding day six years ago on Yavin, an event that even Jan Ors attended, standing next to Kyle, Luke and Mara Jade. Jan learned to make peace with Tavion despite their tense past, as did the other Jedi who initially glared at her with their fingers against their lightsaber hilts as she was led by Jaden through the Academy upon his return with her from Nar Shadaa. Their trust was slow to be gained, over years and not days, but gained nonetheless by the end as Tavion proved herself time and again until she was finally bestowed the rank of Master alongside Jaden who finally relented to Luke's persistent offers. Now primarily a teacher at the Jedi Academy, Tavion's personal experiences proved invaluable when mentoring new students in lessons of self-control.

With a smile, he wrapped his warm hands around hers. "She'll come around to it, you'll see. I'm sure that if the Republic Senate learned to embrace Vaner Shan after learning his heritage, surely our own daughter will still love you after hearing the truth."

Tavion was still unsure. If that was the case, why had Leia still not yet declared her lineage openly to the Senate? Would they learn to embrace her for her present deeds, rather than scorn her for the terrors her father unleashed?

Still, she was done with pessimism and fear for one day. Yearning for comfort and peace, she leaned forward and rested her face against Jaden's chest, smiling as she could feel him kissing the top of her head. "By the way," she chuckled, "Alora still wants to be a Jedi. No matter how hard I try to suggest otherwise, I can't seem to convince her!"

"What's so bad about that?" Jaden beamed, pulling the bedcover down and then back over again, covering the two of them. "Just think of it – taking our own daughter and son on missions together and teaching them firsthand."

Tavion rested her head against her pillow, grinning at her husband all the while. "You do realize that by the time our children are Padawans who are old and strong enough to go on missions, I'll be in my mid-forties? Good luck trying to see me do cartwheels and flips at 46."

"You know," Jaden smiled back, "you could always leave the action to me. Just sit back tight and watch me, Alora and our son tear up droids like sheets of paper."

Tavion slid her hand forward under the sheets, placing her hand over his heart. "Always so confident in yourself, you are."

"How else would I have saved you, all those years ago?"

She stared into his eyes, knowing that his words were all too true. She couldn't imagine where she'd be right now if it hadn't been for Jaden's faith in her. Eternally grateful, she leaned in and kissed him softly on the lips as he reciprocated, running his fingers through her long, silky hair. "Thank you," she whispered, "for everything."

With that, they sunk their heads into their pillows, quickly falling into a state of peaceful sleep. Unlike the nightmares she suffered daily in the months following her forsaking of Ragnos, Tavion was now blessed with images of a bright future with her husband and children, watching with pride as they became powerful and wise Jedi Knights like their father.

This, she felt, was what she had longed for the whole time, yet didn't realize it. All Tavion was truly looking for was not power or fame, but something far simpler – a place to belong.

And now she had it. No glorious palaces, no amount of boundless dark power could ever match this feeling which she found in the simplest of places, in Jaden's arms.

She was home.

\- Fin -

* * *

 **A/N:** I had originally planned to release this on Valentine's Day, but work and general fatigue led me to constantly delay it. I had always wondered what would've happened if Tavion survived JA, as both potential endings of the game gave the feeling that Tavion wasn't so far gone – Kyle sinking his head in the light-side ending when told by Jaden that Tavion was dead (clearly he remembers how Tavion was so easily affected by fear and not pure evil when he held her over the edge in JO), and Tavion resigning herself to her fate with a sense of sadness instead of glaring at Jaden in anger in the dark-side ending.

There's not much backstory to Tavion to work with prior to JO, but reading about her youth in Wookiepedia gave me the feeling that she had no real control of her outcome, and was forced into it by the people and environment surrounding her. Given her circumstances, repeated failures and quite genuine sense of disappointment in her fate in the dark-side ending of JA, there's no reason in my mind why she could've questioned her future and possibly have opted for a different route had she been spared.

Anyhow, hope you've enjoyed this standalone fic, and that you also take time to read my other Star Wars stories if you haven't. Thanks for reading!


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